Recently I finished chapter
twenty-four of my book. In this part of my story Anthony, Hannah and I are in
court, during James' trial, listening to a string of adult witnesses express
the fear they held while working for Larissa - my son's past employer and
co-defendant.
I wrote how one man in his mid
fifties, while sitting in the testimony box, said, “If I had any idea that she
was going to be back on the street again, I wouldn't say another word. I'm
scared of the woman. I watched myself whenever she was around."
During
the chapter re-write I questioned myself - why didn't I discern her evil? I've
met others in the past who appear to be upright and genuine but inside my gut something
felt wrong. It was as if an internal warning alerted me to be watchful.
So why, when it came to Larissa,
didn't the alarms bells ring and the words, "danger, danger, danger ahead"
warn me?
After I read the chapter one last
time I looked up, "Father, why couldn't I perceive this woman's evil?"
In a tone that felt matter-of-fact
and uncondemning I heard,
"Because you are a people
pleaser."
I thought: I know I want to please others. But what does that have to do with my
ability to discern?
This is the lesson I learned.
When I put myself in the position to
need acceptance from someone, my ability to detect the darkness within that
person's heart is lowered. It's as if my
spiritual cloaking devise drops, leaving me defenseless to the person I want to
impress.
I rubbed my temples and bowed my
head. "Father, what was it I wanted from Larissa?"
I desired for this highly successful
businesswoman to see James as a valuable employee. And, keep him working during
his college years in the field of his major.
That's all it took. My senses were
dulled and she robbed James' bright future right out from under him.
I never considered how desire can
lull people into a situation they can't foresee coming, until now.
In Genesis 4:7 When Yahweh didn't
accept Cain's sacrifice, He said to Cain,
"If
you do what is right, won’t you be accepted? But if you do not do what is
right, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule
over it.”
I want to live being pleasing to my
Father. Understanding He provides all my needs, keeps me safe and no longer
vulnerable.
Let's keep our doors barred and our
eyes on Yahweh as He teaches us to do what is right. When an imposter arrives
on the scene, the warning bells will sound.
Yes...I often fall into this same trap. Discernment is greatly needed during these turbulent times. We must be in the Word and praying. We must take time to nurture and develop a relationship with our Father so we may hear and know His voice from all others. Thanks Ralaine!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mimi for your comment and your encouragement. Yes! Knowing the Word and prayer are necessary, for sure.
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