Due to my family commitments, I've not posted anything for months. It is here where I post about my journey while working on my manuscript called, Burden of Promise. Now that I'm back in Montana, I have determination to write and finish my book. Traveling the homestretch causes me to hurry my pace as I look ahead to writing the final chapters.
The current chapter (33) shows my struggle when my faith did not bring about the results I expected. When I realized the importance of this chapter and its complexity, I closed my laptop, bowed my head and prayed, "Yeshua, I need your help to guide me through this part of my story. Will you assist me?"
After Yeshua's supportive response, I widened my request. While He seemed near, I pushed to talk about the end of my book. (which will cover my daily living and status of my heart)
"I know I protect myself by not pressing in to hear you. The turmoil I experienced when the promises didn't unfold like I expected caused me to shield my heart. I've put distance between us. I don't like it, but I don't know what to do about it."
"You are cautious." He sounded matter of fact and kind.
I nodded, thinking: what I felt as being distant and aloof, He gently referred to me being cautious.
He broke into my thoughts and added, "You should always be cautious when handling knives."
I shook my head surprised knives were brought to the conversation. Suddenly I remembered a Scripture and my heart warmed.
"For the word of Elohim is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."
His very words became like a set of new knives cupped in my hands. Any idea to run with them seemed ridiculous.
Encountering this concept gave me understanding and respect on how to handle His words. I will not run here or there waving and shouting out heaven's fresh communication. I'll give more honor and contemplation, allowing its power to cut, divide and expose the matters of my soul and spirit.
After Six weeks of consideration, I've determined thus far...
In the future, if His personal words [word of knowledge etc.] are meant to be shared with another, I will proceed carefully like a skilled surgeon so they won't harm or hinder His purpose in the hearer.
This encounter still penetrates the layers of my heart. Yeshua was faithful to help me. His scalpel cleaned up my debris. I've finished chapter 33. While I worked I often felt tears channel down my cheeks. Binding. Healing. Restoring.
If you have a promise or word that hasn't come to fruition...wait. Patiently wait and occupy. There is a work going on. You are learning among many other discoveries, to discern the difference between your soul and spirit, turning you into one sharp believer.